On Cutting People Off

The end of the year means that it’s “cutting-out” season. There are probably thousands of tweets at this very moment that are talking about cutting out certain foods, bad habits, or financial patterns in the new year. A bulk of the conversation also focuses on cutting out certain people in the new year. In my own kind of research study, I polled my Instagram followers and asked if they believed in cutting people off in the new year. Out of those who responded, 83% said “yes” and 17% said “no”, meaning that majority believe that the new year is the perfect time to cut those negative people out of your life.

The end of the year is always a time of reflection and resolution. How did our year go and what can we change to make the next year better? It’s clear that some changes include people that we may wish to remove. They may be friends who betrayed our trust this year. Opportunists who used us for what we could give them, offering little to no friendship in return. Old friends that we have our grown. Some of these relationships are easier to quit because they’ve done some kind of wrong towards us but there are others that may be harder to accept. Either way, ending friendships are usually based from an understanding that certain people are not showing up for us the way that we want them too or they are only draining us or bringing us down. A harsh reality is that a person can mean well and still hold us back from reaching further potential and growth.

With that being said, I get the impulse to want to cleanse people from your life. I also see how as a significant marker of time, the new year seems like an adequate time to do so. BUT I also believe that we should be thinking about who we keep in our life at all times. Rather than abruptly start snipping at your contact list on December 31st, communicate with your friends all year and remove the waste as you go. The new year is supposed to be a clean slate and chance to switch it up for the better. Don’t start the year with a loss. If you refuse to let anyone treat you trash throughout the year then you won’t have anyone to cut off. Cultivate relationships that will last with people that have your best interest at heart all year round.

Zari TaylorComment